Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Chuck Norris is like an F5 Tornado...
When you see him coming you better run for cover and pray to God he doesn't find you...
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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
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Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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If you go on google and type find Chuck Norris then click I'm feelin lucky...run
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