Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
A lawyer is paid £950 in new bills but, on counting the money, he discovers that two notes have stuck together and he’s been overpaid by £50. This leaves him with an ethical dilemma – should he tell his partner?
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Why won't sharks attack lawyers? "Professional courtesy."
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving