Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer?
The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Insufficient sand.
The lawyer’s motto:
a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law.
The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary.
The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain.
Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
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Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
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