Joke #7165

Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.

Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares. Actually he can also blow your face.

Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.

Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Because deep down they are really good people.

What’s the difference between a shame and a pity? If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff and there are no survivors – that’s a pity. If there were any empty seats – that’s a shame.

Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’

Jedis are now taught to use the "Chuck".

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.  The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."