Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos.
Words simply stutter in his presence.
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What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One’s a scum-sucking bottom dweller, the other’s a fish!
A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.'
He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.'
So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00?
The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?
Having lawyers make laws is like having doctors make diseases.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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