Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
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If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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