Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.