Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
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Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
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Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
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Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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Chuck Norris was once shot.
The bullet died.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
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Most tough men eat nails for breakfast.
Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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