Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
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Chuck Norris went an hour without killing... just to kill some time.
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Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
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Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
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China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
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