When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch... He saw it 3 times a day.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.