When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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Chuck Norris crossed the road.
No one has ever dared question his motives.
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
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Human blood type is usualy 0+, A+ or AB...
Chuck Norris blood tipe is AK-47
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