When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Extra Terrestrials often visit Earth from other galaxies - they're here to see if Chuck Norris really exists.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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CNN tells about every disaster around the world.
CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
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Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
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Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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