When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is...
Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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When you have a question you check with Google.
When Google has a question they check with Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris has a question everybody better run!
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