When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you? Of course you would.
The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is... Chuck Norris owns a villa there.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.