When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
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Chuck Norris can play a PS3 with a Super Nintendo controller, and it works!
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When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
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Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
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Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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