When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible.
He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
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