Why did we have a global recession?
Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
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Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
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We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
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To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
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