Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
Chuck Norris can hear pictures.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Chuck Norris bunked school one day. Till today that day is known as Sunday.
Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!" When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.