Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
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The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes.
Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation.
Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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