Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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In the beginning, God created light because Chuck allowed him to.
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Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
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Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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