Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean. The sharks headed for land.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself. We call it The Big Bang.
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
Chuck Norris is the ghost in paranormal activity.
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.