Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean. The sharks headed for land.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school. When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.