Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
Chuck Norris would have attacked the Death Star with the Shield Generator still up.
Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.