Chuck Norris digs up gold - from silver linings.
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Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.
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Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
He died a year later.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower.
He uses Meteor Showers.
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