Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
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Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
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