Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not have to "Fight for his right to Party".
Parties have to fight for their right to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
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