Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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Chuck Norris can finish Sims.
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Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
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Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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