Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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If Chuck Norris gets a question wrong, it is right.
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Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
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Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
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The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
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