Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
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Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor.
The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
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Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs.
This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
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When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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Chuck Norris is proof that legends never die.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.
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Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
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A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back.
Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
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