Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
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Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
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Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
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Freds voice is high because Chuck Norris kicked him in the nuts.
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Rules of fighting:
1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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