Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
You cannot escape the power of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.