Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
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Note to self:
Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
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In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
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