Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.
The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.