Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out.
The genie ain't stupid.
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Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer.
Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse.
And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse.
Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself?
You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are you kidding me!?
Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow.
That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!
Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
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