Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out.
The genie ain't stupid.
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An airman in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a marine joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something.
I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a marine.
The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a marine.
The fella next to him is 6'5" tall, weighs 250, and he's also a marine.
Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The Airman says, "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times."
Freddy Krueger sleeps with his mom every night because he is scared of Chuck Norris!
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