Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out.
The genie ain't stupid.
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Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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Yo Mama's so stupid because it too her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks, "Hey, you wanna hear a redneck story?"
The guy says, "Buddy, I'm six feet, 210 pounds, an' ma name's Billy Joe. You see the guy on the other side of you? That there's Bubba. He's 225 pounds of solid muscle and he's a redneck. And the boy next to him? Mike's a trucker who weighs 295 and he's a redneck, too. Now, do you still want to tell your redneck story?"
The fella says, "Naw, you're right... I'd hate to have to explain it three times!"
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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