Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out. The genie ain't stupid.
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari