Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out.
The genie ain't stupid.
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Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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Three guys are stuck on a deserted island when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. He picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pop out. The genie looks at the three guys and says: "I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish."Well, the first guy is sick and tired of being on the island, so he wishes to go back home. POOF!He disappears. The second one said he, too, is tired of the island and wishes to go home. POOF!He too disappears. The genie then turns to the last guy and asks him what his wish is."Gee," he says," I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here!"
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it.
The genie said, "I will grant you one wish."
He said, "I wish I were smarter".
So the genie made him a Republican.
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Two guys are fishing when one of them catches a fish.
He brings it in the boat and as he cuts it open to clean it, a genie pops out and says, "Thanks for freeing me. I will grant you one wish."
The fisherman looks around and says, "Well, we are almost out of beer, how about you turn this whole damn lake into beer".
*POOF* the genie grants his wish and leaves.
His partner slaps him on the chest and says, "What the hell did you do that for, now we have to piss in the boat!!"
Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself.
A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists.
"What are you doing." they ask her.
So she replies "Hanging myself."
The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck."
The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."