Joke #12361

Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out. The genie ain't stupid.

Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.

When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.

Three guys are stuck on a deserted island when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. He picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pop out. The genie looks at the three guys and says: "I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish."Well, the first guy is sick and tired of being on the island, so he wishes to go back home. POOF!He disappears. The second one said he, too, is tired of the island and wishes to go home. POOF!He too disappears. The genie then turns to the last guy and asks him what his wish is."Gee," he says," I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here!"

Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.

Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.

A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.

Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.

An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master." The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you." The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this." The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. "What about your third wish?" asks the genie. "Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars." The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. "What's wrong?" asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, "Just because you believe in me, doesn't necessarily mean that I really exist."

The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.