Joke #12361

Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out. The genie ain't stupid.

Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.

When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.

Three guys are stuck on a deserted island when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. He picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pop out. The genie looks at the three guys and says: "I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish."Well, the first guy is sick and tired of being on the island, so he wishes to go back home. POOF!He disappears. The second one said he, too, is tired of the island and wishes to go home. POOF!He too disappears. The genie then turns to the last guy and asks him what his wish is."Gee," he says," I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here!"

Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.

Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.

A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.

Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.

A guy's walking along the beach and he finds a magic lamp. He rubs it and two blonde genies come out. They tell him they'll grant him any three wishes he wants. So he makes his wishes... he wakes up in bed with 50 of the most beautiful women he's ever seen and he'd just made love to all of them. Then he walks outta the bed and opens a treasure chest filled with more money than you could ever imagine... then two KKK members come riding in on horses, throw a noose over a tree and hang him... The KKK members take off their masks and its the two blonde genies one of them says to the other: "I can understand why he wanted to sleep with all the women, I know why he wanted a chest full of money... but I can't figure out why the hell he would wanna be hung like a nigger..."

At the gym: Me: "What does this machine do?" "Sir, that's a bench." Me: "Perfect."