When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out.
The genie ain't stupid.
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Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence."
Me: "You mean... the period?"
Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."
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A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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