Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
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Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
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Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
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Chuck Norris kills time in his spare time.
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