Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car...
The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
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