Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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Freddy Krueger has nightmares of Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
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Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
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