Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.