Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
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The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool.
That's why his mullet never moves.
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Davie Jones is afraid of Chuck Norris' Locker.
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Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
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