Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem. He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion. The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.