Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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