Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat.
His body cries.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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