Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
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Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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