Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos.
That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.
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Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it.
She's crying
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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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