Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so.
He remind him of Trivette...
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Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
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Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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Chuck Norris once won a three-legged race... By himself.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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