Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
Chuck Norris is a hunter. But Chuck Norris does not hunt. That implies the possibility of failure.
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
Chuck Norris once threw a pebble. We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Dreams about Chuck Norris are in 4D.
To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.