Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Chuck Norris never dies. And of course, he will also never fade away.
Chuck Norris found the Hidden Valley Ranch.
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
Revenge is a dish best served...by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.