Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
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Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
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Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
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Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.
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