Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Chuck Norris never felt fear, and he never will.
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Before sliced bread, people used to say "That's the greatest thing since Chuck Norris".
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When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk.
When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
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E=mc squared.
E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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There was no Big Bang.
Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.
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Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
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