Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Chick Norris has never pooped because nothing scares the shot out of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
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Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.
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Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
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Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind.
The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
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The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life.
There can be only one.
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