Joke #5318

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
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Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
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When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
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Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
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Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
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