Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.
The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
Chuck Norris broke the law once. It still isn’t fixed.
Chuck Norris did the blue whale challenge. By the 50th day, his instructor had jumped off the building.
When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.