Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series.
We know it as Forged in the fire.
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Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
The earth doesn't revolve around the sun.
It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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