Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Walker Texas Ranger wasn't an action crime drama, it was a documentary.
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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Chuck Norris once entered a black hole just to see what was in it.
Dissapointed, he then walked out.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
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If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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