Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions".
He has no time for losers.
He will rock you.
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Chuck Norris never gets dirty.
The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
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Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
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When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris round house kicked the xbox and made the xbox 360.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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