Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.
This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
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Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
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Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch...
Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
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15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest?
I don't know he is still busy.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
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