Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you.
On facebook!
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars.
But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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