Joke #9321

Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.

Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"

Chuck Norris put corns in the Milky Way and eat them at his breakfast.

Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.

Knock knock. Who's there? Allahu Akbar. Allahu AK- BOOM!!!

Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? A: A Selfie!

Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.

Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.

Three holy men rode a plane home. There was a terrorist on board who of the firm belief that the world should end. Who should talk him out of it. The pilot and his crew gave up and believed the holy men should live. In the remains was a burnt soccer ball labeled flame retardant. And a melted black box. The holy men still live to tell the tale. And so does the football.

The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.

What to do if you fall into a conversation with someone about the terrorist attacks who doesn't believe in retaliation: 1. Engage in conversation, and ask if military force is appropriate. 2. When he says "No," ask, "Why not?" 3. Wait until he says something to the effect of "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence." 4. When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can. 5. When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would be awful and he should not cause more violence. 6. Wait until he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional violence. 7. Punch him in the face again, harder this time. 8. Repeat steps 5 through 8 until he understands that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.