Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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Chuck Norris does not have to "Fight for his right to Party".
Parties have to fight for their right to Chuck Norris.
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Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
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Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
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Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
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What to do if you fall into a conversation with someone about the terrorist attacks who doesn't believe in retaliation:
1. Engage in conversation, and ask if military force is appropriate.
2. When he says "No," ask, "Why not?"
3. Wait until he says something to the effect of "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence."
4. When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can.
5. When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would be awful and he should not cause more violence.
6. Wait until he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional violence.
7. Punch him in the face again, harder this time.
8. Repeat steps 5 through 8 until he understands that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face.
Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?"
Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea.
Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish."
Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen.
Twice.
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When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
BOOM!!!
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