Joke #9321

Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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has 34.20 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, terrorist

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So this retarded blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay. The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills. So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well. In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills." So we told the Warden and he laughed he said: "you know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!" The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!" The blind couple said, "what happens to the fishes?" The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"
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has 23.58 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: death, fish, health, prison, terrorist
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
You should try the new Starbucks terrorist latte... it has a white fluffy head with 2 shots in it.
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: business, terrorist
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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has 44.53 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, money
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
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has 63.75 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"
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has 72.37 % from 639 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, mother in law, terrorist, war
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'. "His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work." The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman said, watch this. He told Sniffer to 'search'. Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's arm. The Policeman said, "Good boy", and he turned to the man and said, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land." "Gee, that's pretty good," replied the first man. Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. The Policeman said, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm taking a note of his seat number for the police." "I like it!" said his seatmate. The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'search' again. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place. The first man was really disgusted by this behavior and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the Policeman, "What's going on?" The Policeman nervously replied, "He's just found a bomb."
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has 78.76 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cop, dog, terrorist, travel
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris