Joke #9321

Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.

I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.

Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines. They have footprints.

Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers? A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.

So this retarded blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay. The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills. So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well. In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills." So we told the Warden and he laughed he said: "you know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!" The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!" The blind couple said, "what happens to the fishes?" The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"

Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.

Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.

Terrorists have hijacked a planeload of lawyers bound for a legal convention. They’ve threatened to start releasing the lawyers one by one until their demands are met.

One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.