Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
You should try the new Starbucks terrorist latte... it has a white fluffy head with 2 shots in it.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.