Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
Chuck Norris never actually moves. He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
Chuck never auditioned for Walker Texas Ranger, a camera crew turned up at his house and secretly filmed him.
The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
Three holy men rode a plane home. There was a terrorist on board who of the firm belief that the world should end. Who should talk him out of it. The pilot and his crew gave up and believed the holy men should live. In the remains was a burnt soccer ball labeled flame retardant. And a melted black box. The holy men still live to tell the tale. And so does the football.
A Muslim safely departs from a plane.
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"