Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.
The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.