Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
Terrorists have hijacked a planeload of lawyers bound for a legal convention. They’ve threatened to start releasing the lawyers one by one until their demands are met.
Q: "What do you call a Muslim shrink? A: A terrorpist."
For every victim of a Chuck Norris round house kick, there is a star. As you can see, there are a lot.
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.
Devil stays in hell because he knows Chuck is around, here on earth.
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?" Chuck Norris is your daddy.