Joke #10397

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, soccer
What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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has 75.20 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
A deer hunter just messed up another hunt. This happened to him more times than he could count. He would spot a buck, aim, fire and miss. He would sneak up close just to get busted and watch the deer run away. He would sneeze just as the buck came into range. He would fall asleep on the stand, waking in time to watch a giant buck scamper away. Frustrated, he complained to his hunting buddies. "Everything that happens to guys that don't know how to hunt keeps happening to me!" he said.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting, work
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
What looks like half a cat? The other half.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story. "Once upon a time there was a white bunny..." "Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?" "Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said. "Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...." "Dad, a little more grown up!" "Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown. " I swear!" "Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, science