Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.
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You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chase by a lion.
What do you do?
Get your drunk ass off the carousel.
Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many crabs.
Did you find my horse well behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous cock,
All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all,
Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong...
Fuck my arsehole all night long!"
Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say,
"Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger?
The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
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Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters.
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house.
He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
A: Professional courtesy.