Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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In the beginning, God created light because Chuck allowed him to.
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Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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It takes courage to say YES at the altar.
It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie.
It was too short for release.
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