Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?"
It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
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God said let there be light.
Chuck Norris said say please.
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Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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