Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
The Universe is not expanding. It's running away from Chuck Norris.
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.