Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard.
Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
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Chuck Norris throws a dodgeball at you, knocks all your teeth out.
Then the ball hits you.
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Chuck Norris wins Clue in one guess.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
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Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
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