Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!
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Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
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