Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
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Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
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Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
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