Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
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Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT.
He got a perfect score.
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If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
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