Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
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Chuck Norris can finish a Super Mario game with just one arrow key.
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Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow.
No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
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Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
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Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
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