Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
Chuck Norris has an Xbox Live account. On Playstation
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.