Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear. The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.
Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.