Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
What every sports player should say after winning? "First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.