Chuck Norris has 12 moons.
One of those moons is the Earth.
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The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room.
The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
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Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Chuck Norris is the real man inside of Chucky.
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Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
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Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
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Chuck Norris invented black.
In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.
Except pink.
Tom Cruise invented pink.
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