Chuck Norris has 12 moons.
One of those moons is the Earth.
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When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold.
Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse.
No mortal man has ever earned it.
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Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed.
Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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Chuck gives the sun the chills.
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