Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can Moonwalk on the Sun.
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Dreams about Chuck Norris are in 4D.
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Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
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Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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