Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
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Chuck Norris once bowled a 300...
Without a ball...
He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
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When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
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While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
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Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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