Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.