Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
CNN tells about every disaster around the world. CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board. It is now known as titanic
For every victim of a Chuck Norris round house kick, there is a star. As you can see, there are a lot.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.