Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.
If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.