Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
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For Chuck Norris...
In the game Monopoly every space is free parking.
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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
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