Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.
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Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
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Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Chuck Norris can rotate text in MS Paint.
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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