Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.
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The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
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Karma believes in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
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When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
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