Why did the rabbits go on strike?
They wanted a better celery.
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A man on a beach sees a shark near a child in the shallows.
Ignoring personal safety, he dives in the water and, with his bare hands, kills the shark.
He brings the tot to shore and is met with tumultuous applause from spectators.
"Geez, mate" says a reporter "You should get a medal. What part of Australia are you from?"
Modestly our hero says: "Actually I'm from England."
The next days newspaper headline says "Pommy mongrel kills child's pet"
What's red and green and goes at 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
A man has his car full of penguins.
He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him.
He says.
"Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!"
The man does that.
The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins.
Once again he drives past the policeman.
"Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"
"I did," replies the man.
"We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers?
Bunny and Clyde.
How is a rabbit like a plum?
They re both purple, except for the rabbit.
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat?
He had to get a new goat.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
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