Joke #10403

Why did the rabbits go on strike? They wanted a better celery.
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"Pa's being chased by a bull!" "Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?" "Get me some film for my camera."
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Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
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A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
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Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
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What goes black white black white...? A penguin rolling down a hill! What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him!
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
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What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.
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A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
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