Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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It is better to give than to receive.
This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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All men are created equal.
Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
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