Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear. The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
How did Stella get her groove back? Permission from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.