Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
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Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
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Chuck Norris broke the law once.
It still isn’t fixed.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
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