Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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Davie Jones is afraid of Chuck Norris' Locker.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
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Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
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