When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water... That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won. No Questions asked.
Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon... With the Yellow version.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."