When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.