When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
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Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
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Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
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Chuck Norris once threw a pebble.
We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines.
They have footprints.
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Rules of fighting:
1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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