Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.