Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Chuck Norris broke the law once.
It still isn’t fixed.
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Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor.
The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
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If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all.
Your life may be forfeit.
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May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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Chuck Norris named his parents.
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