Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
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Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
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Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
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Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs.
Then he climbed it up.
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Chuck Norris was the image used for Papa Smurf.
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Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
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There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
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Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
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