Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
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When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
It was more "humane".
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Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
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Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
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Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
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Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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