Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
Chuck Norris never felt fear, and he never will.
When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.