Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
Chuck Norris plays Scrabble with numbers. And wins.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris will never die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.