Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to. He knows CPR.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.