Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
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Chuck Norris fills a 1-Liter Bottle With 2 liters of water.
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
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The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
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If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis.
He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
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