Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid, he entered a pool bombing competition.
This place now widely known as the Niagara Falls.
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Some people wear Superman pajamas.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
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