Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
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If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name.
It's called the internet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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Chuck Norris is the ultimate hide and seek player; no one dares find him.
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When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.
The weights do.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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