Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch. He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.