Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected.
He knows the unexpected.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
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Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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There are no weapons of mass destruction.
Just Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.
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