Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected.
He knows the unexpected.
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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris is not 70 years old.
At age 60, he began getting younger.
This is why he is actually only 50.
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Chuck Norris was the original star of "24."
It was called "1."
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Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.
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That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
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Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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