When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
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Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands.
They are now The Islands.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
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Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
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AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
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Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
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