Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
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Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
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UV rays are caused by Chuck Norris' smiles.
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One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
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Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.
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