Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.