Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Chuck Norris won more Olympic medals than the hole world... Including himself.
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.