Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.