The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.