The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris' primary weapon in Call of Duty is his roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.