Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won. No Questions asked.
Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.