Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow. No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
Chuck Norris dropped an apple once, and gravity was born.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.