Joke #6266

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
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A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
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A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.  Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"  The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.  Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it... with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... and then 2 days and then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"
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The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
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What should you call a bald teddy? Fred bear .
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What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud.
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Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
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What do you call a rabbit who is real cool? A hip hopper.
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What do you get if you cross a hippo, elephant and a rhino? A Helephino!!
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Q: What is a thespian pony? A: A little horse play
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