Joke #6266

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches. "Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams. "It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam. "No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches." "Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all. In fact, he heard no sounds at all. Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out. "Talk to me, baby." "Moo."
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has 77.54 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, parrot, technology
How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
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has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? A: Professional courtesy.
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer, work
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick, right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.
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has 79.73 % from 1441 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, sex
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris