Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
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A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred Police Dog $25."
Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered.
The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen.
In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad, "How dare you call that mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?"
"Don't let his looks deceive you, ma'am," the man replied, "He's in the Secret Service."
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
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What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Camper: "Look at that bunch of cows."
Farmer: "Not bunch, herd."
Camper: "Heard what?"
Farmer: "Of cows."
Camper: "Sure I've heard of cows."
Farmer: "No, I mean a cowherd."
Camper: "So what? I have no secrets from cows."
A farmer and a son live on a farm.
The farmer is sitting in the kitchen when his son comes in from the barn with a large glass of white liquid.
He is so excited because he's just milked a cow.
Then he takes a big drink from the glass.
His father just stares at him.
"Son, we don't have a cow. We have a bull."
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