Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room. Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun. The Earth is stationary. The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote. He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.