Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
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If you click on start, run, then type in Chuck Norris you will get a permanent blue screen of death.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
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Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
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If Chuck Norris were to get into a fight with another Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win.
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Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris."
Then his reflection cried and walked away.
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Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods.
He is now known as Shrek.
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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
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