Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
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Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
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Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
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After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
It was more "humane".
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