Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
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Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books.
The words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
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Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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