No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.