No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
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Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
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When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
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Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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