No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
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Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
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Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
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Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week.
The man was missing for four and a half years.
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Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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