Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!
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When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad.
It says he's Chuck Norris.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
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In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
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Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
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The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
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Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.
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