Big Brother isn't watching you. Chuck Norris is watching you!
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself. We call it The Big Bang.
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.