Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.
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Chuck Norris can one hit kill a creeper in Minecraft... With a stick.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate.
It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
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