Big Brother isn't watching you. Chuck Norris is watching you!
Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.