Big Brother isn't watching you. Chuck Norris is watching you!
Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone. The ground is afraid to break it.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.