Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean.
The sharks headed for land.
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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Bob the Builder asks if we can fix it, Chuck Norris already did.
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Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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