Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
Chuck Norris once replied to a 'no-reply' mail, and got the answer he wanted.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game... While using a golf ball.
If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold. Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.